Last year, I did something that made my social media manager nearly quit: I stopped trying to be an influencer and started being myself. The result? I lost 50,000 followers in three months. And it was the best thing that ever happened to my brand.

Let me take you behind the scenes of my "perfect" influence journey. You know the one - carefully curated posts, strategically timed content, and enough filters to make a cloudy day look like paradise. I had the swipe-ups, the affiliate links, and all the "secrets to success" someone with a ring light can provide.

Then came what I now call "The Thursday Truth Bomb."

I was sitting in my car, having just finished recording my tenth attempt at a "spontaneous" video about morning routines, when I got a DM from a follower: "I love your content, but how do you do it all? I feel like such a failure compared to your perfect life."

My heart sank. Because here's what my followers didn't see that day: I was recording in my car because my house was a mess, I'd just had a panic attack about an overdue project, and I'd eaten cold pizza for breakfast. Some influence, huh?

So I did something crazy. I posted the raw, unfiltered truth instead. No script. No filter. Just me, talking about how overwhelming it all felt sometimes.

I waited for the unfollows. They came. But something else came too - real connections. Messages from people saying "thank you for being honest." Comments from followers sharing their own struggles. Suddenly, I wasn't an influencer anymore. I was human.

Here's what I've learned about true influence:

• It's not about having all the answers; it's about asking better questions

• Your vulnerability is more inspiring than your perfection

• Real influence happens in the comments, not the follower count

• Sometimes your biggest impact comes from saying "I don't know"

The irony? Once I stopped trying to be influential, my actual influence grew. Not in numbers, maybe, but in impact. The people who stayed weren't just following - they were engaging, connecting, changing.

Want to know what real influence looks like behind the scenes?

It's responding to DMs at midnight because someone's going through exactly what you went through last year. It's turning down profitable partnerships because they don't align with your values. It's admitting when you're wrong and learning publicly. It's choosing meaningful over marketable, every single time.

My most viral post ever? It was a thread about failure - specifically, all the times I'd messed up and what I learned. No fancy graphics. No perfect lighting. Just raw truth that resonated because it was real.

These days, my content strategy is simple:

• Share what I'm learning, not just what I've mastered

• Celebrate others' wins louder than my own

• Show up consistently, even when (especially when) it's messy

• Lead with service, not self-promotion

The plot twist in all of this? The smaller, more engaged community I have now has led to better opportunities than my larger, passive following ever did. Because real influence isn't about reaching everyone - it's about impacting the right someone.

To those still playing the numbers game - I get it. Those metrics can feel like validation. But ask yourself: Would you rather have a million followers or actually change a few lives?

What's your experience with influence? Have you ever felt pressured to maintain a perfect image? Share your thoughts below - let's have an honest conversation about what real influence means in today's world.

Until next time, Dr. Christopher Paul

P.S. In our final post next week, we're talking about fulfillment - and why checking all the boxes might be keeping you from actually checking in with yourself. Trust me, this one's going to make you rethink everything you thought you knew about "making it.